Breaking Bad: Holly Wood
by heyitsshlay
Summary: Holly Williams is living with her family in Florida and just got accepted to UCLA to study Chemistry, and her family assures her that it will be affordable despite their lack of money. Holly questions where the money came from, leading her down a dark path of many other questions, which eventually leads her to the truth about her family, and the truth about her dad, Walter White.


Ashley Lessen

Tom Baer

English II

Fan Fiction

Breaking Bad: Holly Wood

'Dear Ms. Holly Williams,

'Congratulations! You have been accepted to UCLA for Chemistry and Biochemistry!' is usually a sentence than any person would jump and scream with joy at the thought at. That is, if you're made of money. The second I read that sentence my heart felt full and hopeful, but less than a second later that sinking feeling came and told me "how the hell are you going to afford this?"

My thoughts were interrupted by my mom knocking on my bedroom door. She burst into the room before I could even say 'come in'. She had a big smile on her face and a kick in her step, as if she thought I didn't know that she opened and read it before I did. "So? Did you make it?" She said while holding her hands together. I looked up at her and forced a smile and only said "yup". My mom's smile quickly dropped into a frown, as I literally drained all of the excitement out of her with one little word. "Why aren't you excited? You get to study what you love! You get to live in California! You don't have to live with your parents or your Aunt Marie anymore!" she said while nudging me. "Mom, this school is going to be way too expensive for me." I said while staring at the ground. "I would love to go, don't get me wrong, but unless I can get a giant scholarship, it's gonna be a lot of money, and I don't think we would have enough." I said as I continued to stare at the floor.

My mom was silent, trying to think of something to say to me. I felt bad for not showing excitement. I know that I want to go to school out west; I know that I want to study chemistry, and I know that a school in LA is really expensive, but I applied anyways out of curiosity if I would even qualify, which I was I wasn't expecting to at all. "I'm sorry, mom. I should have just applied to more places in Florida instead. I knew that UCLA would be too expensive, I just feel like I got my hopes up for nothing." I said in a pathetic tone. She got up from my bed, and she squatted on the ground right in front of me. She looked me right in the eye, so it was hard to ignore her gaze. "Holly, we have the money." she said sternly. I stopped staring at the floor to make eye contact with her, but she was already looking away. "We have more than you think, and I want you to know that." she said. She squeezed my hand and made eye contact with me again. "Holly, the last thing I want you to ever have to worry about is our money. Your dad and I have made sure that you would have plenty of money to go to school ever since you were a baby." She said sternly. "John isn't my dad." I snapped at her, immediately regretting what I had said.

John is my stepdad. My real dad passed away from cancer when I was a toddler, and that's really all I know about him. I like to think that he was a good man, but it's hard to pry any information out of anyone in my family. It's like they're all keeping some big secret from me. Anytime any 'real dad' stuff was brought up, my mom would get quiet, angry, or just shut down. I know that dead family is a sensitive topic or whatever, but I think I should be allowed to be curious.

I waited to see which reaction I would get from her. This time, I got the rare reaction; the nice one. "John is a good man, Holly. He cares about us all a lot." She said calmly. It was quiet for a moment, and then she got up and walked out of the room. I could tell that I had stressed her out because she pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket as she walked away. I looked back at the acceptance letter lying beside me, almost completely forgetting that it was there since I changed the subject. "How the hell is this affordable?" I thought to myself.

At the end of the day, I still had so many thoughts racing through my head. Thoughts about my dad, what happened to him, who he was, etc. What's weird is that both my mom and my aunt are widows. My Aunt Maries husband, Hank, died in a drug related shootout while working with the DEA, but they don't talk about that much either.

At this point it was very late at night, and I was still awake thinking, trying to put an image in my head of my dad; what he looked like, what his laugh sounded like, what I imagined he did in his free time, but I couldn't. There was so much information that I didn't know still. I continued to lay in my bed wide awake until I couldn't take it anymore. There has to be a picture of him, there has to be something if I google his name, there has to be something around here that has his full name on it. I jumped out of bed and started to head downstairs. As I walked towards the stairs, I could smell the smoke from a cigarette, which meant that my mom was still up. I kept walking, and as I got closer I saw my Aunt Marie and my mom at the bottom of the stairs in the kitchen. I froze. _What the hell are they doing up?_ I inched a little closer to try to see them from the top of the stairs, and I could hear whispers.

"Do you really think that you can just keep this from her forever, Skyler?" I heard my aunt whisper harshly. "That's the way I wanted it to be." My mom said as she took a puff of her cigarette. "Walt was an awful human being" My aunt hissed. "He ruined EVERYTHING for us, but Holly doesn't know that! And she is going to want to know!" My mom shushed her and said "Be quiet Marie, Jesus Christ." Her hand was shaking as she put the cigarette to her mouth again. My mom's voice cracked as she said "I just didn't want him to exist in our lives anymore. But he still does, dammit! Hell, she's even studying chemistry too!" She said loudly as she slammed her hand on the counter, followed by my aunt shushing her. _What the hell was that supposed to mean? He still does?_ "She can't know who he was. She will find out way too much and be hurt, I just know it." My mom whispered. My heart was pounding so loud in my ears that I was surprised that I could hear their whispers. "Well where the hell does she think all of this money came from, Skyler? How did you explain how she can afford to go to this fancy school in California?" My aunt said. She turned around and looked behind her, as if she was trying to make sure no one was listening (coincidentally) and hissed "You are using the money of Heisenberg, who got MY husband killed!" My mom quickly stood up and got in her face, making my aunt nearly fall back. "Don't you dare say that fucking name ever again" My mom yelled loud enough to wake me up if I had still been asleep. "You know damn well that I am only using this money for her and for Flynn, and like usual you have to bring up Walt and bring up Hank and you can't just get the hell over it!" My mom screamed.

I was frozen in place until I saw another light flicker on downstairs. John stumbled into the kitchen, clearly still trying to wake up. I backed up to avoid being seen from the top of the stairs, but at this point my heart was pounding so hard that I could swear that it could be heard from down there. "What the hell is going on?" exclaimed John. He was squinting his eyes from the light as he walked towards my mom. She ignored John and ran back to her bedroom and slammed the door so hard that it shook the house. Marie sat uncomfortably as she started to burst into tears. I backed up quickly to my room, at this point not even caring if I was heard. My brain was still trying to process everything I overheard. I shut the door and ran to my computer. I quickly opened up google and with shaky hands I typed 'Heisenberg' and clicked search.

Ever since I was old enough to understand that I never really had a dad, I always had this image in my head of exactly what he was like. I liked to imagine that he was humble, honest, sweet, and would never cause any harm. All it took was one search for that imagine to be completely flipped for me.

"Walter White, aka 'Heisenberg", "Crystal Meth Empire in New Mexico", "198 counts of murder" ,"Status: alive." Out of every disturbing, shocking, crazy thing I saw, the thing I found that struck me the most was "Alive". This drug lord that was my dad was not dead.

I continued to type every key word I could think of that I overheard. I found "Walter White found in meth lab in New Mexico after being in hiding for a year", "Survived gunshot wound that he had when found in lab" ,"Survived gunshot wound and cancer", "Has been in high security prison for 15 years." Every piece of information that I found made my chest sink heavier and heavier. He was not the man that I thought he was or that I had wanted him to be, but he is my dad, and he's alive, and I'm going to find him and I am going to talk to him.

"Holly" I heard a voice whisper to me. I blinked my eyes open and saw the sun scorching down on me, making me squint my eyes shut. "Holly!" I heard someone whisper again more harshly. I attempted to open my eyes again, and as I did I saw the blurry vision of red rocks and some cactuses. " _Where am I?"_ I thought to myself. As my vision cleared, it appeared that I was in the middle of nowhere. The air was dry and I could feel my face burning from the heat. I suddenly felt an arm on my shoulder. "Holly!" I heard a man's voice yell once again. I shot myself up and scooted back. Dirt and dusk kicked up in front of me as I shuffled back, and as it cleared away I saw this man's face. A face that was finally familiar to me. "…Dad?" I said quietly. "Hi, sweetie." He said while reaching his arm out to help me up. _'Is this real? Am I dreaming?"_ I thought to myself. I put my hand up to reach his but hesitated. "Come on, I'm not gonna hurt you". He said, still reaching his arm out to me. I took his hand and wrestled my way up onto my feet. Part of me wanted to hug him so tightly and not let go, part of me wanted to punch him in the face, and another part of me wanted to run as far away as I could. Seeing his face was something I had always wanted, but what I saw wasn't what I expected, even after seeing all of the pictures of him online. He was much older looking than I expected. He had wrinkles on his face and no hair except for some facial hair. He was wearing a pair of glasses, but behind I could see a somewhat intense glare. "I can't believe how you've grown!" He exclaimed, growing somewhat of a smile on his face. I looked around myself in a state of confusion. 'Where the hell am I?" I asked. "Albuquerque, New Mexico." He said. "And watch your mouth, young lady!" He said in a joking tone, but I wasn't having it. "Oh, I'm sorry. 'Hell' is probably a touchy word for you, considering that you definitely went there." I said to him. He chuckled and said "Oh I'm definitely going there, but I'm still here right now, aren't I?" He said, stepping closer to me. "Didn't you hear your mom and your aunt? Didn't you do your research? I stayed silent. I had so many mixed emotions running through me that I had no idea what to say. "What am I doing here?" I said after a long moment of silence. "This is exactly where you need to be, Holly." He said. "What, why?" I exclaimed. "You know, I think it's amazing how you're taking up chemistry". He said walking even closer to me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and said "How would you feel about following in my footsteps?" I looked at him and said "You're fucking kidding me right?" "Holly, I created the best meth business in North America. I was really good at it. I felt alive for the first time in a very long time." He said. "What are you saying?" I said, shaking his arm off of me. He paused for a brief moment and said "Don't let Heisenberg die, Holly White." He said. He suddenly turned and started to walk away from me. "Dad?" I said while his back was turned to me. He stopped walking but was still facing away from me. "I love you dad…I don't want to let you down." I said. He turned my direction smiling and said "You won't let me down, I love you more than you could imagine, Holly." Hearing those words come from him made my heart feel like it was overflowing with joy. He continued to walk away, but I was so overwhelmed with happiness that I couldn't take it. I ran after him with open arms. I wrapped my arms around him, my arms going straight through his body. _"Wait what?"_ I thought. And before he knew it he was gone and I was in my bedroom again.

My head flew up and my eyes were once again blinded, but by the light of my computer screen rather than a scorching sun. I felt the imprint of the computer keys in my forehead and cheek. My eyes adjusted, and I saw my dad's face again plastered all over my computer screen. My eyes started to well up with tears. _"It felt so real…he told me that he loved me."_ I thought, as I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I wiped my tear away and tried to force the tears I felt coming back into my eyes. I accepted that it wasn't real but, "don't Heisenberg die, Holly White" replayed in my head countless times. That's who I was. Holly White. I sat and thought about it for a while. I eventually looked out the window and saw the sun starting to rise. I needed to get up, but that was okay because I honestly had no interest in going back to sleep anyways.

It was now months later, and I found myself walking into the entrance of an airport with my family. "Did you remember your toothbrush?" My mom asked. "Yes, and I'm sure that California will have plenty for me to use if I forgot." I said. "Alright, smart ass." She said. My mom continued to ask me a hundred questions about what I had packed, if I was going to be okay, and so on and so forth. I walked closer to the ticket counter. 'Well I guess this is my stop". I said. My brother Flynn looked confused and said "Are you sure you don't want us to security with you?" "Yeah, I'll be fine. Plus spare you the walk, dude." I said as I lightly kicked his crutch. "Shut up." He said as I gave him a hug goodbye. I continued to hug the rest of my weeping family, including John, who told me to 'not do anything too crazy in California'. Our 'goodbyes' and 'I love you's' and 'call me when you get there's' continued for a while, but eventually they made their way out of the airport and left me on my own. I made my way to the ticket counter, and once I made my way up there, a worker said 'Hi! Where will you be going today?" "Albuquerque, New Mexico" I said to her. "Oh! What brings you there?" She asked. "Just visiting my dad."


End file.
